Thursday, September 30, 2010
Updates and random thoughts on my life
I haven't done an update on my blog about me in a while. When I first started the blog, I just wanted to jot down some thoughts I had. Then it became a rant blog. So I just didn't want to sound like an angry Asian bitch on here.
Since then, I haven't blogged much.
Just recently, I have been posting photos of food. I cook almost everyday. I don't cook everyday because sometimes my family and I eat the leftovers from the previous day or I'm really busy and am unable to cook. I hardly go out and eat. And if I do, it will be quick stops to get food.
I'm not a high maintenance girl and don't splurge on myself. The most I've done for myself is spend money on my hair cuts but I have to be frugal because prices on utilities and cost of living are going up but my paycheck isn't.
It's great that I still have a job. I'm thankful for that. Sometimes, I wonder why I don't advance and better myself. It's the comfort zone. Plus, I am afraid of failure...even more so than death lately.
Every time I take one step forward, seems like when I'm down, I tumble down three steps back. I've been really depress and sad in the past few months, hiding it well from a lot of my friends. Only a few close friends know what's going on.
One of my close friends, J, has been there from me from beginning to end of this depression of mine. I have made a decision that will probably hurt me for a few months but I chose that path to do it because it's what's right at this moment. It may seem like a burden but it's only temporary. 2010 started off okay then dipped, and now, I don't want it to end bad.
It's a bit of a stress relief with me even writing this post. I hide behind my entertainment life and laughter but inside, it's rough and hurting.
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. We all choose the path we take and make the best of it.