Monday, December 20, 2010

Levels of friendships

I know, what a title, huh?
After discussing this with a few friends, I have been thinking about this for some time.

There are levels of friendships.
This is not a case of who's the better friend or not. It's friends for different occasions.

First, let’s talk about Facebook friends.

This is a subject all on its own. I’ve had Facebook for about 6 years, waaay before it became popular like it is today. During that time, I had many friends in college who were using Facebook to communicate with friends and they invited me to join. You either had to have a college e-mail or get invited by someone.

Within the past few years, Facebook took it to another level with helping re-connecting people you haven’t seen or heard from since childhood. Now, that was fun. However, it started to raise some eyebrows too, especially for those who just wants to remain “Facebook” friends, meaning all you do is “like” each others status, pictures, etc. You never have to really hang out because in reality, one of you really don’t want or even care to. While the first few months was cool with you two catching up, it faded afterwards. At times, you wondered how that person is doing. You will send that person a message or post on their wall just to get a generic response back, “I’m doing good, how about you?” Then that’s it. A year goes by and same thing.

Co-workers who are your Facebook friends. That can be tricky, especially if you’re a private person and don’t really need the whole office talking about what you did over the weekends with your friends. It was none of their business and you didn’t realize that they were your Facebook friends. Co-workers who don’t even have Facebook have been informed of what you were doing from the co-workers who are your Facebook friends. Not so cool.

Let’s not forget Facebook friends who you have met once. Whether you met at a party or a gathering, you two became Facebook friends afterwards. Mainly to get pictures of each other because both of you were in the photos. However, ever since then, that’s all it was. One Encounter Facebook Friend. You two won’t make time to hang out in real life because you don’t really know each other, just so happens that you two happen to be at the same place with mutual friends to hang out. Until another event like this happens again, maybe once a year, then you will meet up again.

Mutual friends. Adding each other because of mutual friends. You two should know each other, it was meant to be. Facebook has this notification pop out with “people you may know.”

People you never met, making friends online then adding on Facebook. Sometimes you can tell if you're cool with someone right away, especially people with the same interest.

Using the message instead of writing on walls. When you write on the wall, you kinda want all of your mutual friends and your friend’s friends to see what that person is doing, kinda like making an announcement. Otherwise, you would stick with the message in the inbox so it would be more private. Not everyone cares if you go to the mall tomorrow...but somehow you want that attention from others. "why not invite me too?" "have fun you two!"

Maybe I take this more personally than others. I don’t mind making friends but I value my friendships with others a lot. I think I go out of my way more than others would for me. It’s not just about being friends and that’s it. I continue to keep in touch no matter what.

Ever since I was younger, every year, I send out Christmas cards to friends and family. One year, I didn’t do that. My cousin ask me if I was okay because she was used to receiving a card from me annually (even though she never sends me one). That’s just how I am.

Because of all the social networking sites out there. I turn to blogging and Twitter for people with the same interest as me. Someone on Twitter posted about Facebook being a place for friends you went to school with while Twitter is for people who you wish you went to school with. I can relate to that. I started blogging to share with others my love on Indian cinema. But since I’m a huge fan of movies, I created another blog on Asian cinema. Then added Hmong information since I used to send emails on interesting information. Since I like to blab, I started my personal blog, which I am writing in right now.

In the end, it's good to have friends to hang out with, whether you've known them forever or just met. Just make sure to remain a friend and be there for each other.

But in the end, I love my family more than anything. My family = hubby and kids.

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