Monday, June 21, 2010


I mentioned on Twitter about my long hiatus soon, to focus on life. Seriously. I spend too much time online reading all the updates on Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, you name it.

Right now, I am making decisions to better myself and my family.

Please still do keep in touch with me via e-mail. I've made a long, tough decision to do this. Yes, so no new movies and reviewing from me either.

I will still log on my other social networking sites to check messages but will not read all updates.

Honestly, I am not sure how long the hiatus will be...but after a few more movie reviews on my Indian cinema page, then that's it...until then....

Friday, June 18, 2010

"You are your worst critic"

We always want what we don't have. Most of it deals with genetic, nothing we could really control.

If we have black hair, we want blonde. If we have blue eyes, we want green. If we are tall, we want to be shorter. The list is endless.

Women are the worse at this. People can tell us that we're beautiful but we still don't see that because "inside" we don't agree.

One of my girlfriends was telling me that she thinks she has buggy eyes and a big forehead. I told her no way!!! I think she's hot but she doesn't. I think I have a a huge forehead and ugly eyes since my eyelids are uneven.

See, we are our worst critic.

I, personally, notice things about myself that others don't. That is my fault since I bring attention to it and now, I get them to see my flaws!

Then I think to myself...was there ever a time that I loved myself? Not really....

I do know my hubby tells me daily that he loves me just the way I am. After all the weight gains and tacky, mix-match outfits, he still stands by my side.

He definitely loves me for who I am because I was never the beautiful, thin girl. I've always been big-boned, had some meat on me.

I know all of this...but why do I still want to be change my image? Lose that weight that haven't been lost in many years? Change my hair or clothes to look good?

My problem is I compare myself to others too much. Why can't I be thin like that? I feel that if I'm thinner, I would look better in a lot outfits. True, true, that I have had kids and I'm in my mid 30s now but there are women who are in their 40s and had more kids than me and look hot!!!

I think this will always be an ongoing process for me.

Until I love myself more (or lose lots of weight???), I will continue to feel like this.....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I do NOT know how to swim! :(

I started this post on Friday but never finished it.

I tweeted about the weather getting up to the mid 90s this weekend and going to pool but not knowing how to swim :(

My encouraging Tweet buddies encouraged me. Thanks ladies for always making me :)

For some reason, I have this fear of water. It cannot be above my waist or I feel like I'm drowning. I don't even like taking a shower and holding my head up facing the faucet.

I have had dreams before with me drowning but was somehow saved, whether it's from a dolphin or just waking up since nothing happened to me. The dream always ending with me tredding water, needing help, but that's it. Or the dolphin saving me. I love dolphins so that may be the reason.

It's ironic about water since I think being around a beach, lake, or pool is very calming and passive. On top of that, I love drinking water only. Don't like many other beverages out there.

PS - took the kids to the pool yesterday. I got a bad burn and had heat stroke! aaaahhhh...that's what happens with 95+ degrees weather in Atlanta

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The reason why I blog

I bitch and complain on this blog with thoughts and life.

However, the main drive for me blogging is my love for Indian cinema.

It has been two great years of blogging on that blog. I love all the people I met via Desi filmi :)